Legalise Weed? But Think Of The Bunnies!
We kid you not, this is not a satirical article. A DEA special agent has genuinely stood up in front of Utah’s Senate panel, telling them that if they legalise medical weed, rabbits will get stoned from the crops being grown. Just the thought of this makes me put my face into my palm. How embarrassing.
The “special” agent in question is Matt Fairbanks, an experienced member of the DEA’s “marijuana eradication” team. He has reported witnessing multiple mountain grow sites with rabbits that had “cultivated a taste” for marijuana. One rabbit had become so befuddled that it followed the DEA agents around, refusing to run from them in fear. It is apparently a cause for serious concern.
Fairbanks goes onto talk about the harm illegal cultivation is causing to the mountainous forest regions. Apparently it is disrupting the local environment, and the excess use of pesticides and chemical fertilisers is a danger. Go figure. Surely this is a symptom of prohibition and not marijuana. If wheat were made illegal and gangs grew it up in the woods, would the environmental impact concerns not be the same?
THINK OF THE CHILDREN?
We love that it has come to this. The DEA has spouted argument after argument against the legalisation of cannabis, and each and every one of them has fallen to the wayside. They have become so desperate that they are now worried about couch-locked bunnies. Screw the children, won’t somebody think of the rabbits!? What a joke.