10 Ways To Grind Cannabis Without A Grinder
Why no Grinder?
Obviously the absolutely greatest way to grind cannabis is utilising a grinder, however even the most stubborn, uncompromising grinder aficionado can find themselves in the right place at the right time but with an absence of grinders. Surrounded by good vibrations, but no readily available practical means of herb grinding can ruin a lovely evening. Festivals, concerts and large public gatherings are great events to enjoy a few joints with friends and make new friends to enjoy joints with.
But, did you know that the average grinder rarely strays further than the coffee table? Not that it’s unwelcome at a rock festival rather it’s “the precious”. If there’s one thing stoner’s get attached to, especially those that prefer joints, it’s a reliable metal grinder with multiple tiers and plenty of space at the bottom to gather moon dust. Such a coveted item is often left behind, as a precaution, before the adventure has even begun.
Whatever the reason you find yourself without a grinder you need not fear any longer. Or if you just fancy going MacGyver for a while the following is by no means a definitive list but ten of the best alternative methods we could come up with over a serious weekend session, err, brain storming session.
(In no particular order)
The Usual Suspects
1. Use your Hands
Well, to state the obvious, scrunching and crunching your nugs between your fingers will do in a pinch. Although if you happen to be smoking some really dank sticky buds it can seriously impair one’s spliff rolling abilities. Spiderman hands might be great for swinging from webs but they can make a right mess of joints. In some parts of the world this is the customary way to grind up buds, especially amongst Mediterranean smokers.
2. Scissors and Shot Glass
This is a far more elegant solution. Sure it requires some tools, but these are common household items repurposed. Quick, clean and very efficient. Probably the next best method to using a grinder.
3. Coffee Grinder
OK, so this one is kind of cheating, but again this is another common household item that can serve as a pretty effective grinder. We advise caution as they tend to pulverise the buds too much for our liking, your coffee will never taste the same again and if you’re lucky one morning the journey to work will seem like a beautiful dream.
4. Knife and Chopping Board
You’re probably noticing a recurring theme here. In our defence before we get to the more exotic methods it’s important to cover all the likely real world substitutes. This information could literally save your session some day. Anyway, pretty much every kitchen has got a knife and chopping board. Just make sure it’s clean and that the blade is not serrated.
5. Pestle and Mortar
This is the secret the kid that stole stuff from the science lab knew about, and until he started running his own meth lab this is what he used to grind his buds with. Scientists use this pair to grind all kinds of stuff so why not stoners? Works best with really dry buds.
6. Don’t Grind It! Squish It!
We would never advise anyone to borrow their girlfriend’s hair-straightener. So it’s perhaps best to steal it, be super careful to not in any way damage it and make use of it in her absence. Upon her return, of course you will be utterly stoned but this should not be out of the ordinary. The hair straightener must be returned unblemished to its precise special cupboard or drawer immediately after it cools down. Now that we are perfectly clear all you do is wrap a chunky bud in parchment paper and squish the goodies out of it between the heated plates of the straightener. In a couple of minutes some sticky resin will be your reward for the perfect crime. Just dip a skin, toss your favourite tobacco sub on top, roll and enjoy.
7. Wash It!
If you like your gadgets and you are a stoner with an adventurous streak, well, then an ice washer is the device for you. The Bubbleator by The Pollinator Company is the best known of the ice hash machines and in a nutshell you toss in a stash of buds, some ice and water, plug it in and magic happens. No need for grinding and the end product is premium hash, free from any solvents.
8. Shake It! (Like a Pro)
Pollen shakers are widely available these days and a simple method to sieve the crystals from mediocre marijuana and turn it into amazing high grade hash. Place approximately 10g of dry buds into the shaker and let it sit in the freezer for 45 minutes - then shake the hell out of it for the next 10-15 minutes. We recommend wrapping your hand in a towel to prevent frozen fingers. Another solvent free extraction, but more labour-intensive.
9. DIY Shaker (Pill Bottle an Coin)
Another economic alternative is to find an empty pill bottle, add a small coin and a small amount of bud, then shake, shake, shake. Cleanliness is next to godliness, so make sure to give the empty bottle and the penny a good scrub before you get started. This method is surprisingly effective and doesn't leave a mess.
10. Blend It! (But we would really rather you didn’t)
Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you are in a “DIE-HARD” type situation plucking shards of glass from your feet and the only appliance undamaged by the furious gun battles in Nakatomi Towers is a blender then toss that bud in quick and roll a spliff before Hans Gruber reloads. Horribly inefficient and only if you must.
We won’t be ditching our grinders any time soon and perhaps the best solution is the simplest solution. Nobody wants to lose their favourite grinder, so keep it right next to the rolling papers and buy another cheap grinder for excursions. Think of it like packing a Saturday night special, better to have one and not need it, than need one and not have it.
Written by: Top-Shelf Grower
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