7 Cannabis Strains That Will Get You Couchlocked


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Cannabis Couch Lock


Let's talk couchlocking cannabis strains. What stoner doesn't enjoy a good smoke sesh of dank marijuana that glues you to the couch? We do. Our list of the top 7 couchlock cannabis strains will have you catching up on those TV boxsets in no time. Make sure the fridge is full and get stuck into this fire weed.

Are you the kind of cannabis connoisseur that enjoys the occasional trip to Dreamland? If so, we’ve got 7 uber couchlocking marijuana varieties you need to get your hands on. Don’t expect a flourish of creativity nor to be inspired. In fact, you will have less energy than the retired. This weed will sedate you and glue you to the couch over the course of just a few joints or vaporiser hits.

WHAT CAUSES A COUCHLOCK?

Immensely high levels of THC and heavy indica cannabis go hand in hand. Usually, a healthy amount of CBD is present in the mix to guarantee the stoned body effects. This potent cocktail of cannabinoids is a sharp contrast to the cerebral sativa high.

It is the absence of CBD or minimal trace levels that makes sativa uplifting. The best available evidence and regular self-experimentation leads us to conclude high THC Indica dominant marijuana will likely render you pleasantly Couchlocked binge watching Westworld.

While the exact science is still something of a mystery the Couchlock effect can certainly be achieved with the following 7 fire cannabis strains.

GORILLA GLUE

Gorilla Glue Couch Lock

Gorilla Glue by Zamnesia is quite possibly the dankest dope on planet Earth right now. Get these King Kong cannabis seeds in your grow op and you’ll reach uncharted THC levels. Our Gorilla Glue is the GG #1 pheno so it’s even more couchlocking than the more famous original clone only GG #4 phenotype.

Resin production is unbelievable. Buds will build up an astronomical quantity of trichomes and completely frost over. Gorilla Glue is ideally suited to SOG and ScrOG methods for max yield. In just 8-9 weeks of bloom the most adhesive buds in the business will undoubtedly be fusing your posterior to the couch. THC regularly exceeds 25% and sometimes even 30% so this dank weed is definitely not for lightweights.

TRAINWRECK

Trainwreck Couch Lock

Trainwreck by Humboldt Seeds is aptly named. She looks a real mess in the grow op and you’ll be a hot mess stuck to the couch post-harvest. This devastatingly potent hybrid has earned a reputation in the US for its powerful knockout body effect.

This marijuana might not come from the prettiest of plants. But Trainwreck, with a little training and or pruning, can be tremendously productive both indoors and outdoors. Best suited to the ScrOG method for max yield. 9 Weeks of bloom followed by a slow cure are recommended to unlock all the lemon-spice aromas and flavour. Trust us, be patient and you will be deliciously Couchlocked.

MASTER KUSH

Master Kush Couch Lock

What list of the definitive couchlock cannabis strains could be complete without a fire Kush? It simply would be remiss of us to leave out the Kush family. Although, plenty of Kush varieties are couchlock grade green we have selected the vintage Master Kush.

Master Kush by Dutch Passion is old school Kush and still phenomenally potent even by today’s standards. Easy to grow. Perfect for newbie growers. Short, stocky and covered in dank dense buds after just 8-9 weeks of bloom. Master Kush is a classic couchlock Kush.

NORTHERN LIGHTS

Northern Lights Couch Lock

Northern Lights is quite possibly the cannabis strain that led to the coining of the phrase “Couchlocked”. Our Northern Lights is a timeless classic couchlock variety. Perhaps no other strain on Earth has so consistently couchlocked stoners.

Plants are squat, branch well and produce a thick main cola. Northern Lights is both forgiving and immensely rewarding to cultivate. No other strain has such a proven track. Northern Lights performs well in all substrates and still the ranks amongst the dankest couchlock cannabis strains.

SHARK SHOCK

Shark Shock Couch Lock

Shark Shock by Mr. Nice is a frosty fast flowering pure couchlock cannabis strain. When legendary strains are hybridised by expert breeder’s magic can really happen. Shark Shock is the product of the careful hybridization of two heavy hitters Skunk #1 and White Widow.

Find a keeper mom for extensive cloning and order a new couch. Shark Shock is another low maintenance winner in the grow op regardless of your grow style. Also a great option for novice growers. Flowering is typically 8 weeks or less and SOG for max yield.

MEDICINE MAN

Medicine Man Couch Lock

Medicine Man by Mr. Nice is a versatile cannabis strain highly appreciated by both medicinal and recreational users. Better known by her original name White Rhino. But a rose by any other name and all. This resin dripping member of the White family is White Widows fat sister. We mean that in the nicest possible way.

Chunky nuggs and tight internodal spacing are hallmarks of a winner mom to take cuttings from. As Medicine Man is pretty uniform it shouldn’t be too difficult to preserve winning clones. In just 8 weeks of bloom expect dank frosty buds with tremendous couchlock effects.

ROYAL DOMINA

Royal Domina Couch Lock

Royal Domina by Royal Queen Seeds is the product of Black Domina and Kalijah. This kind of pedigree couchlock lineage is hard to beat. Royal Domina is a refined hybrid made for those that love to blaze up and enjoy the couchlock effect. Genuine heavy indica royalty.

These couchlock beans are unsurprisingly a favourite with growers of all levels. Huge yields of 20%+ THC gooey nuggs can be cropped in just 7-8 weeks of flowering. Royal Domina is reminiscent of Heirloom Mountain Kush mixed with a subtle Diesel taste and aroma. This weed kicks in fast and has been known to make plenty of stoners feel one with the couch.

 

         
  Top-Shelf Grower  

Written by: Top-Shelf Grower
Veteran cannabis cultivator originally from Dublin, Ireland and currently on the loose in southern Spain. 100% committed to Top-Shelf reporting until captured or killed.

 
 
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