Top 5 Christmas Movies For Stoners 2016

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Top 5 Christmas Movies For Stoners 2016


Our picks for the top 5 Christmas movies for stoners 2016 are the perfect night in with a fat stash in front of the box this Christmas. The weather outside is frightful, so stay in, get comfortable and blaze a few joints with our top 5 Xmas movies.

This Christmas don’t settle for the usual festive drivel on the box. Our top 5 Christmas movies for stoners 2016 will keep you giggling and glued to the screen as you toke up this festive season.

The Christmas movie has gotten a bad rap in our opinion, but the following five films are stoner Christmas classics that we recommend viewing under the influence of a fine Xmas stash.

5. GREMLINS

Gremlins

Horror comedy is not a genre usually associated with Christmas. Imagine the evil twisted monsters started out as cute cuddly little pets, kind of like innocent Xmas puppies before the blood drinking rampage commences, you would definitely be caught by surprise.

Gremlins is a genuine original Christmas movie that blends humour with gore and delivers a healthy dose of festive cheer amidst all the carnage.

The subtle underlying message of Gremlins is never do your Christmas shopping in an oriental black magic bazar.

But if you must for the love of God make sure you don’t let the Mogwai get wet after midnight or you could be Xmas dinner for a troop of nasty little Gremlins that multiply quicker than rabbits and in infinitely more disgusting style.

Gremlins is worth watching even just to catch a glimpse of “Stripe”, the most badass of all gremlins. Also, the movie features probably the best non-CGI generated special effects from the 80’s, excluding Bladerunner of course.

4. BAD SANTA

Bad Santa

Billy Bob Thornton is devilishly good at playing the Anti-Santa in the modern Christmas movie classic Bad Santa. What could have been a formulaic heist movie peppered with festive flair is transformed into comedy gold by the foul-mouthed and definitely non-PC performance of Billy Bob. Nobody plays the amoral rogue character better.

Bad Santa is probably the most dysfunctional Christmas movie ever made, but it works. Turning Santa into an anti-hero made this film unique. Unfortunately, the sequel lacks the originality and magic that made the first Bad Santa brilliant.

Stick with the original this Christmas and you will giggle every time you think or hear anyone talk of “fixing sandwiches”.

3. SCROOGED

Scrooged movie

Scrooged is another Christmas classic that features an outstanding comedic performance by the lead actor. In this case, it happens to be the Grand Master of onscreen comedy himself: Bill Murray.

This adaptation of the classic by Charles Dickens is pure comedy genius. Murray will have you laughing out loud with his frantic portrayal of the haunted TV executive that must mend his Scrooge like ways to avoid a terrible fate.

Scrooged is definitely black humour and not your typical Christmas movie but it’s a real gem. It’s still got plenty of the paranormal activity that Dickens infused in the original and still quite a dark tale, but the antics of Murray never fails to bring the laughs.

If you’re not a fan of Bill Murray already, you will be when he has you in stitches watching Scrooged. If the fancy restaurant scene doesn’t excite your funny bone, ask Santa for a sense of humour next year.

2. PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES

Planes trains automobiles

Steve Martin and the late great John Candy star in this hybrid odd couple/road movie with a Christmas flavour. If you have ever travelled a long distance over the Christmas holidays to make it home, you know exactly how treacherous and exhausting that Xmas trip can be.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles brings the holiday commuters worst nightmare to life and because it’s all happening to Steve Martin it’s hilarious. Why is the misery and desperate floundering of others so amusing?

John Candy plays the hapless travelling widget salesman that is the road buddy of doom. Candy serves as the outwardly chipper buffoon, but also the lingering black cloud to ensure the worst always happens and Martin's quest to make it home for Christmas becomes all the more perilous and ridiculous.

The duo of Candy and Martin play off one another fantastically and this kind of situational comedy really is timeless. Chances are you’ve already seen Planes, Trains & Automobiles but odds are it was around Xmas time so it’s due a re-watch and if you have never seen it before treat yourself to a good laugh this Christmas.

1. DIE HARD OR DIE HARD 2 - IT DOESN’T MATTER THEY’RE BOTH ON TV EVERY XMAS

Die hard movie

Deck the halls with the corpses of baddies and villains and have a “Yippee ki-yay” Christmas with everyone’s favourite army of one John McClane, starring Bruce Willis in the seemingly never ending action franchise.

Die Hard and/or Die Hard 2 are pretty hard to miss on the box this time of year. We recommend you acquiesce and delve into the John McClane universe for a few hours this Christmas.

The premise of both films is simple. Hero super cop John McClane is prevented from spending a happy traditional Xmas with his family because he just happens to stumble into sieges and hostage situations orchestrated by fiendish international terrorists.

Simply amazing! Lots of things go bang to a Xmas backdrop.

Perhaps the writers of South Park really are on to something and they are exposing a vast far reaching global conspiracy. Maybe we all are really hooked on “member-berries” and that’s why we think all the best Christmas movies, save Bad Santa, were made in the 1980’s.

Regardless, Die Hard or Die Hard 2, it really doesn’t matter which is the absolute best Xmas movie. Die Hard/Die Hard 2 is fun for all the family and our number 1 pick for the top 5 Christmas movies for stoners 2016.

A note of caution to readers: Our affinity for the Die Hard movies is limited to the masterpieces Die Hard and Die Hard 2 exclusively. This is a similar situation to the Godfather trilogy, parts 1 & 2 rule and the rest, not so great, although we could use many expletives we won’t.

Merry Christmas everyone and we hope you enjoy our stoner movie recommendations.

 

         
  Top-Shelf Grower  

Written by: Top-Shelf Grower
Veteran cannabis cultivator originally from Dublin, Ireland and currently on the loose in southern Spain. 100% committed to Top-Shelf reporting until captured or killed.

 
 
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