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8 min

How To Pass A Urine Drug Test

8 min

Have to pass a mandatory urine drug test? This situation can be scary, but fear not - you do have options! Learn how to maximise your odds of a negative result.

These days, depending on where you live, you may find yourself subjected to drug testing for your job. Urine tests are especially common in the United States, where Ronald Reagan instituted mandatory drug testing for federal employees in the 1980s, which soon spread to the private sector. Some states even require drug testing for welfare. Drug testing for employment also sometimes occurs in the UK, Australia, and Canada.

Civil rights advocates have called mandatory drug testing a violation of personal privacy, and an intrusion of the state and employers into the private lives of citizens. Workplace drug testing has also been criticised as a violation of bodily consent, a misguided focus on drug use over job performance, and as an overreach of employer and government powers.

If you find yourself subjected to a workplace drug test, you may consider methods by which you might ensure a negative result. The first thing to know is that there are several different kinds of drug testing: blood testing, saliva testing, sweat testing, hair testing, and urine testing. Blood testing is the most accurate, but it requires expensive equipment and personnel. Some of the other forms can only detect very recent drug use. Urine testing is considered to be a happy medium, and is the form of workplace drug testing you’re most likely to encounter.

“In our time, the symbol of state intrusion into the private life is the mandatory urine test”. —Christopher Hitchens

“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it”. —Rodney Dangerfield

HOW DO URINE DRUG TESTS WORK?

How do Urine tests work?

Scientists testing for drugs in urine follow a similar method as white blood cells searching for antigens in the body. When an antigen is found, white blood cells will release antibodies. The antibodies that match the antigen will bind to it. More antibodies of that type are released, which bind to all matching antigens. T cells then attack antigens marked by the antibodies.

Drug-screening technicians follow suit. They attach antibodies to the bottom of a specialised plate, and wash the sample over them. The antibodies will latch on to any drug metabolites present in the sample. This lets the scientists determine which drugs the sample donor has used.

HOW LONG DO DRUGS STAY IN THE BODY?

How Long Do Drugs Stay In The Body?

One way to pass a urine test is to simply wait until all traces of the drug are gone from your urine. Depending on which drug you’re concerned about, this could take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks.

MDMA and shrooms may be detectable for up to five days. Cocaine and speed can be detectable for up to three days. Suboxone can be detectable for six days. Vicodin is detectable for up to 36 hours. Alcohol can be detectable for up to 80 hours. If you’re taking very high quantities in question, especially if you’re doing so on a regular basis, the drugs might be detectable for longer.

What about the poppy seed legend—that if you eat a lot of these opium-containing seeds, you might test positive? Unfortunately, this myth is true. We recommend that you skip the poppy seed bagels for at least three days leading up to your test.

You may have noticed we missed a couple drugs. We have some good news and some bad news. First the good news: If you’re an acid lover, you’re in luck! LSD is active in such small doses, that it’s near-impossible to detect in a urine test. The only way to reliably detect acid is through expensive full-spectrum blood, urine, and serum/stomach content tests. Your employer can only order one of these tests if you’re under specific suspicion for consuming LSD. To play it safe before your urine test, avoid dropping acid for 24 hours prior to your drug test.

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Now for the bad news. There’s one drug that stays in your system for far longer than any other. And this drug is marijuana.

Weed can stay in your system for 35–40 days, possibly even longer if you’re a particularly heavy user. This is very unfortunate, as this window is likely to exceed the notice you’ll have that you’re getting drug-tested. Furthermore, if you’re facing monthly drug tests, the only way you can guarantee a negative result is if you stop smoking altogether! Cannabis smokers with high amounts of body fat may have detectable cannabis levels for up to 81 days after they stop smoking.

MYTHS ABOUT DRUG TESTING

If you Google “how to pass a drug test”, you’ll find a slew of articles recommending everything from detox kits to cranberry juice. Most of this advice is bunk. Here are some common myths on how to pass a drug test.

THE DILUTION METHOD

The Dilution method

The dilution method is based on the theory that if you drink enough water, your urine will become dilute and it’ll be harder to detect drug metabolites. This may have been effective in the 1980s, but today’s drug tests are far more sophisticated and difficult to fool. For one, they’ve become more sensitive, and can often detect even small amounts of metabolites. Second, the lab may be able to tell if your urine is unusually dilute, and will ask for a retest, often with an added dose of suspicion. Some testees try to get around this by combining dilution with a megadose of vitamin C, so as to dilute drug metabolites while still presenting nutrient-rich urine. If you’re going to go this route, we recommend the detox option described below, which follows a similar logic, but is more effective.

Some websites recommend sneaking water into your urine sample. This is very risky—you’re opening up the possibility of getting caught red-handed, which could land you in a barrel of trouble. Furthermore, some drug-testing facilities add a bluing agent to the water, making it immediately obvious if you try to sneak some into your sample. Even if you do get away with it, diluting drug metabolites is unlikely to fool modern tests, as we discussed above.

DRINK VINEGAR, ENERGY DRINKS, OR CRANBERRY JUICE

Drink vinegar

There’s nothing in these liquids that will disguise drug metabolites in your urine. This advice reduces to the dilution method, which, as we discussed, is flawed. Drink a Red Bull if you want some energy before your test, but don’t expect it to influence the results.

CONSUME NIACIN

Consume Niacin

Niacin helps regulate blood pressure and metabolism, but if you’re looking to pass a urine drug test, it’s not going to help. It may have some detoxifying effects, but these are unlikely to make much of a difference in your results.

ADD VISINE, AMMONIA, SALT, OR DRANO TO YOUR SAMPLE

Add Visine, Ammonia, Salt, Or Drano To Your Sample

Note: Do not drink the chemicals listed!

Some try to pass their drug test by adding these adulterants to their urine. These are likely to be ineffective, and make it very likely that you will be caught.

The logic behind salt is that it can neutralise enzyme activity in your urine, resulting in a negative result. However, dissolved salt alters the density of urine, making it easy to detect for any technician wise to this trick. You’d be smart to skip the salt and try one of the methods described below.

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HOW TO PASS A URINE DRUG TEST

All this discussion of how not to pass your drug test begs the question: how DO you pass your drug test?

Keep in mind, none of these methods are 100% effective; you’re not so much learning how to pass, as learning how to increase your odds.

THE NATURAL APPROACH

The Natural Approach

With drugs other than weed, this should be sufficient. Exercise and drink lots of fluids for the few days/week leading up to your test, and you should be fine. Be sure to keep in mind the specific cleaning rate of the drug you’re concerned with, as outlined above.

With weed, the natural approach could work if you have a month. THC and THC-COOH are stored in fat, so those with less body fat will need less time to clear THC metabolites. Get plenty of exercise, eat a healthy diet high in fruits and vegetables, and low in fats, and drink plenty of water.

Exercise is great in the days and weeks leading up to your test, but don’t work out the day of your test. Burning off a bit of fat right before could release a bloom of THC into your bloodstream, ending up in your urine just in time for the test.

If you have under a month, or if you have a lot of body fat, we recommend you supplement your preparation with a detox kit.

DETOX KIT

Detox Kit

Detox kits come in many forms—some are meant to be used over a matter of days, while others can be used for weeks as you work to clear THC metabolites from your body. Detox kits contain high amounts of vitamins and minerals, helping your body clear out drug traces and making sure that your urine won’t seem watered down. Detox kits can be combined with pectin, which binds to THC metabolites and diverts them into the gastrointestinal system so that they’ll exit through your stool rather than your urine. Keep in mind, no detox kit will work 100% of the time, and supplementing kits with a strong workout and diet routine will vastly increase their odds of being effective.

SYNTHETIC/REPLACEMENT URINE

Replacement Urine

If you can get away with it, this is the method most likely to be successful. Synthetic urine is similar enough to real urine that it can’t be detected by drug tests. The only thing that’ll give you away is if the urine is too cold. To avoid this, strap the synthetic urine to the inside of your thigh leading up to the test to warm it up. Some synthetic urine packs even come with a fake penis, making it possible to use them even if you’re being closely monitored (and happen to be male—sorry ladies).

We recommend synthetic urine over using a friend’s. For one, if your friend happened to have taken a toke of week five weeks ago and forgotten about it, you might end up with a positive result. Second, bacteria can grow on the surface of human urine. If left unrefrigerated for more than an hour, it might start going bad; an obvious tell to any technician that this stuff didn’t come from your body.

HOW TO CHECK YOUR WORK

How To Check Your Work

If you’re using either the natural method, a detox method, or a friend’s urine, you may want to test out the urine you’re going to use to get an idea of your chances. Try the Urine Drug Test to test your urine for a specific drug, or the 5-Panel Drug Test Card to test for multiple drugs.

Please keep in mind that your urine could test negative one day, and test positive the next. To improve your odds, test your urine multiple days in a row. If you’ve got a good streak of negatives going, you’ll be justified in feeling confident going into your big test.

SOME USEFUL PRODUCTS FOR PASSING YOUR URINE TEST

Passing Your Urine Test

QUICK FLUSH

Quick Flush contains vitamin B1, vitamin B2, vitamin B3, vitamin B5, vitamin B6, vitamin B8, vitamin B12, dandelion root, red clover, folic acid, cocklebur root, rose hips fruit, chamomile, alfalfa leaf, slippery elm bark, licorice root, and hibiscus flower. It is full of herbs and vitamins that will help flush drug metabolites out of your body. Quick flush is taken over a two-day period, and therefore is ideal for any situation where a one or two-day window could mean the difference between pass or fail. Quick Flush will also leave you feeling energised and full of vitality, helping you stick to your exercise routine leading up to the test.

Keep in mind, Quick Flush is not a guaranteed pass. If you smoke pot regularly and have a test in two days, you may want to consider some of the products below.

Quick Flush

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CLEANURIN

CleanUrin is a form of mobile, synthetic urine. It has all the properties of natural urine, and is indistinguishable from the real thing. It comes in an easy-to-open satchel that can easily be heated against a surface of the body. CleanUrin comes in three varieties labelled with red, yellow or green identification marks, corresponding to different creatine and pH levels. All are within the range of normal and healthy urine, and for the purposes of passing a drug test, all will do.

CleanUrin

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SCREENYWEENY

Time to break out the fake penises! If you’re being closely monitored during your urine test, CleanU’s ScreenyWeeny might be your best bet. The fake penis is connected to a pack of synthetic urine, which is released when you apply pressure to the penis in the right way. ScreenyWeeny comes in dark-skinned, light-skinned, and circumcised varieties, providing options for any man. ScreenyWeeny comes with thermal pads, a refill syringe, and two packs of synthetic urine.Screeny Weeny

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We recommend practicing with the ScreenyWeeny before your actual test, so as to avoid any mishaps.

SCREENURIN SET 2.0

CleanU’s ScreenUrin Set 2.0 has it all. It includes a bag of synthetic urine, a replacement infusion bag, a refilling syringe, a strap-around thermal bag, two heat packs, and the ScreenUrin tube outlet system. If you’re a woman who has to pee sitting down while watched, this system might be your best bet.

Screenurin Set 2.0

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KLEANER UREA SYNTHETIC URINE

Kleaner Urea Synthetic Urine is another effective fake urine solution. It comes in 30ml bottles, and so is useful if you have a series of urine tests to pass.

Mandatory drug tests can be scary and intimidating. That being said, you’re not without options. Study this guide carefully to determine which strategy works best for you. If you’re careful and determined, there’s a lot you can do to increase your odds of passing.

KLEANER UREA SYNTHETIC URINEView Product

Zamnesia

Written by: Zamnesia
Zamnesia has spent years honing its products, ranges, and knowledge of all things psychedelic. Driven by the spirit of Zammy, Zamnesia strives to bring you accurate, factual, and informative content.

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